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Holding Hope In Times Of Darkness: Applying Restorative Justice To Victims And Offenders
Presenter: John M. Schneider, PhD
Introduction

Everyone has been in the position at one time or another of being either a victim of harm or the perpetrator of it. One cannot be a parent or a child without experiencing both. One cannot be in a position of power or subservience and not experience them. Healing the harm done involves, on one side, forgiveness, and on the other, apology. This spiritual paradigm has implications for many aspects of our lives that are incomplete without validation of the need for apology, forgiveness, restitution, reconciliation and restoration.

Forgiveness and apology do not transpire simply by knowing they would be healing. A process is necessary to arrive at the point when both apology and forgiveness are possible and desirable. That process involves restoration of integrity. But first, the loss of integrity must be validated, grieved and restored. As George Bernard Shaw noted; Wisdom knows which path to take; integrity takes it.

Those who lose sight of the need for restoration of integrity are vulnerable to the most common form of depression: spiritual. Spiritual depression results in a disconnection between the ways we believe ourselves to be and the way we actually are. It happens when our actions do not match our values or our self-image. It happens when we justify our actions that have done harm as being necessary or beyond our control. It happens when we fail to accept that choices existed when we became a victim or a survivor.

Grieving is the process of discerning the extent of any life change: its losses and its gains. It is the process by which we take what remains or can be restored and create new possibilities. The discerning is a matter of honest observation and validation over time. The creating of new possibilities is a profound spiritual expression of courage, patience and grace.

Restorative justice is a process designed to redress actual instances of harm. Just knowing about this form of justice open me to wounds too easily avoided by busy lives, distance from the source, and how easy it is to focus only on the positives. I could acknowledge I have a dark side that has wounded others. The resulting self-examination allowed me to see that greatest strengths are also my greatest weaknesses; my vulnerabilities the source of my healing. I have made mistakes, I have regrets and remorse. I do not believe it is strength to deny their existence, or to defend myself by saying I have done the best I can.

I may not have been aware before that I had done harm. The moment I am aware I could have done better, I have a responsibility to find a way to restore what I can provide restitution when possible, to apologize when I can truly empathize with my victims, to create conditions which permits others to apologize for my hurts.

The first step in becoming a restorative justice mediator is to put one’s own house in order. I am still doing that and will probably continue to do so the remainder of my life. I cannot consider myself to be a better person that those I serve. I must constantly find the resources that allow me to do the best I can—and be aware that doing so may require me to be more than I can be—or thought I could.

Therapy and religion provide two vehicles by which people can reach for restoration. Therapy undoes the negative habits and provides the skills; religion provides the hope and motivation.

Therapy—the process of bringing into conscious awareness the effects of our pasts, collective and individual, our losses and traumas, and our capacity to rise to the occasion of the most significant challenges we face.

The role of religion—to create a healing community which provides safety and sanctuary, validation and witness, comfort and respite, apology and forgiveness, challenge and celebration.

Download these chapters and dcouments:
Chapter One: Bringing Out the Best in Ourselves: The Challenge of Restorative Justice
Chapter Two: Describe your crime
Chapter Four: Creating A Healing Community
Validation Quotes