Seven Ways We Respond to Loss
Not every response to a loss is a healthy one. In fact, probably most are not, at least in the sense of eventually leading to healing, growth and transformation. In the following chart I’ve outlined what I consider to be a progression in the ways we respond to loss. It represents our developmental process: the earlier responses tend to be the ones we have learned first. They also tend to be the order of how we respond to any particular loss, although later with greater experience and maturity, we may skip or diminish some of the earlier responses.
On these charts are several ways to look at each level:
- Model for responding -- what characterizes the nature of this response to loss.
- Focus -- What is the principle focus of this model of response?
- Major concerns -- What is it the person has the greatest intensity or motivation to deal with in the model?
- Time applicable -- When is this type of response likely to appear in relation to the time the loss occurred?
- Therapeutic response -- what are the most helpful and healing ways to respond?
- Internal resources -- what resources does the person need to find within themselves at this level?
- Available resources -- what resources from outside could be helpful during this response.
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